love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
