So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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