Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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