So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
