Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize