LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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