There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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