So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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