Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize