I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
