Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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