tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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