Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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