I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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