At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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