It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
