I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
