Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
