something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
