And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
