yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
