Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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