I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
