I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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