Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
