At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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