so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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