I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
