she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
