She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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