those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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