I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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