My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
