Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
