i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ