all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered