just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
should my penis look like a turkey
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
where are my eyebrows?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
