the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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