Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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