I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
