Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
COCAINE IS GR8
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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