Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
whose parrot is this?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
