Swine flu. Run for my life!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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