WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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