idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
