What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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