I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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