Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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