I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
