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I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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