Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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