I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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