i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
