In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.