Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
