My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
