Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
