No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
