That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is wine microwaveable?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
