Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
