Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
