She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
