she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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