..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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